In today’s world of online classes and social media, there are a thousand and one ways of mastering confidence and the art of dating, but few do it effectively or some people may do it too methodically to the point that romance is dead. The ideal way of dating is to incorporate a balance of being smart about the people you meet and the signals they send, along with recognizing chemistry and the subtle art of injecting romance into your relationships.
What do you want out of a relationship?
Do you just want someone to come home to, or do you want someone who is in sync with you? Realistically, we can’t expect to all meet our soulmates, but it’s time to dispel the myth of the soulmate – this mythical creature that is absolutely perfect and compatible with us. Understand that love is hard and if you’re looking for a fairytale ending, remember that life isn’t a fairytale. Some people may be so lucky to meet someone who finishes their sentences – whereas others may meet someone that finishes their sandwiches instead. Just like the person you call your best friend, there are many different types of best friends in the world and no two friendships look the same, so why should there be a different expectation on boyfriends and girlfriends?
Love is overrated – think about what you need instead
The Hollywood idea of love is both unrealistic and unattainable. If we live our life looking for that epic love, we might spend a lifetime searching. Love is, in fact, subjective and no two relationships look the same. Some people might find constant texts and calls to be annoying, while another might find it sweet and compelling. Ask yourself, what is it that you are looking for and what would fit into your ideal of love? Do you want someone to share your same taste in music and the enthusiasm you have for concerts, someone who is able to take adventures with you and someone who shares the same zest for life? Or do you think that the ideal lover lies in the opposite of who you are? Where you are grounded, they should be carefree? Or where you are family-oriented, they should be career-based? It all depends on the individual and what they are looking for in a life partner, because realistically, we can’t love someone who doesn’t live up to our expectations for a long time because the relationship will break down when our needs are not met. What are the qualities that you are unwilling to compromise on regardless of how rich or attractive they are? You’ll find that honesty and kindness often trumps good looks or wealth, but this is someone that you would potentially spend the rest of your life with, so you should be the one to decide what kind of person you want by your side. Some people are happy with trophy wives or a bunch of flings, rather than an equal partner, so ask yourself: what do you want?
Communication and compromise goes hand in hand
Of course, it’s practically impossible to find someone that is perfectly suited to us. If that were the case, quarrels and fights wouldn’t be as commonplace as they are even in perfectly happy and healthy relationships. Communication is key in every relationship, and even if you find someone lacking for whatever reason, you should always communicate with them as efficiently as you are able to. Being upfront can nip potential problems in the bud. You won’t be taken by surprise when you realize that he or she doesn’t ever want to settle down, and you don’t run the risk of leading someone on.
Don’t let rejection get you down and be respectful all the same
Since we all want different things in life, it isn’t surprising that rejection is all that common. What we have to come to terms with is that it really isn’t personal. When someone doesn’t see us to be admirable or attractive, it doesn’t mean that we can’t be admirable or attractive to someone else. It is entirely important to handle rejection with grace and wish the person all the best and to get on with life. Heartbreak can be confidence shattering, and being ghosted may be downright hurtful, but consider the fact that it’s a flaw in their character, and nothing that you should be crying over. Do you really want to date someone who is so unkind that they can ghost another human being, or do you wish to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t look at you as though you are the best thing in the world?
Dating can be hard, especially in the digital age of swiping left and right, blocking and ghosting, but don’t forget to invest in yourself. You don’t need a partner in order to find happiness or achieve some perfect life, because we are complete on our own and the irony is that people who aren’t actively looking for love actually achieve it much more easily than those who are desperate for a relationship because they understand what they want and what they are unwilling to settle for which makes them much more attractive than those who are constantly getting their heart broken.
